Pacific Coast News Online

Paris is Planning the Wedding

Fri, 16 May 2008 17:41:25 -0800

Paris Hilton does her best imitation of a giraffe while leaving a London hotel with her future husband Benji Madden and her doting mom.

The celebutant is in Europe to promote her new fragrance, Can Can, but she's been finding plenty of time to talk about her personal life too.

Most notably, her white wedding, and how perfect she and Benji are together.

'Benji wants to [get hitched],' she gloated last night. 'We are the perfect match. We don't like being apart, we like to stay with each other as much as we can. [Benji] really has a heart of gold. He'd never do anything to hurt me. He loves and supports me no matter what.'

Yeah, I can really see how Paris and Benji's love has stood the test of time.

Because they've supported each other through countless, just countless, tragedies during the three months that they've been dating. Those two, they are like a rock, I tell you, one big, attention-hungry mass.

Scarlett Johansson Is a Musician Now

Fri, 16 May 2008 16:49:44 -0800

Scarlett Johansson released this video of her recording her new single 'Falling Down' because she knows that people might actually take an interest in her 'music' if they can at least look at her while she sings.

Scarlett deciding to sing is like Ronald Reagan deciding to run for president. She's not good at it but she's popular enough (NOW) that it might actually happen for her.

At least she's not pumping out that generic pop crap we've gotten from the Lindsay Lohans and Paris Hiltons...

more at twiigs.com...

A Big Week for Lesbians

Fri, 16 May 2008 16:07:54 -0800

First of all, out-but-not Jodie Foster split from her ~~girlfriend~~ 'special friend' Cydney Bernard after 14 years of um, hanging out. So far nobody has a clue why the hell Jodie called off the relationship with her decade-older lover, considering they have 2 kids together and her friends call it 'shocking.' My thoughts? Hey, just because Jodie doesn't have a penis doesn't mean she ain't a sucker for younger women.

Then there's the Lindsay Lohan issue. Lesbo or not? Samantha Ronson her girlfriend or not? Rumors about them two have been flying for a couple years, but last week when the pair were vacationing in Paris, a collection of hickies across Sam's neck got the rumor mill churnin' like mad. Aspiring celebratard Ali Lohan stepped up to bat away the rumors, asserting that her big sister, 'is not a lesbian.' Which translates to 'the Lohan family is still waiting for Lindsay to come out of her experimental stage.'

Finally, the happy news...Ellen Degeneres and Portia di Rossi are getting married. The bridal occasion was brought on by Cali's Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage this week, and I think it bloody awesome. Unless you're opposed to the whole gay marriage thing, in which case it's bloody awful.

Check out Ellen get wet (with joy, perverts) as she dishes the news to her show's audience, which includes her equally emotional fiance:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Pictures of the couple's 4 years together after the jump.

Pink Keeps it Real

Fri, 16 May 2008 14:37:51 -0800

I have to tip my hat to Pink. She totally, genuinely, doesn't care what you think (or she just does a really convincing job of pretending she doesn't).

Either way, here she is at Nobu restaurant in L.A. last night, looking fully hippie as she jokes with/makes fun of the paparazzi and apparently considers herself a real comedian. My favorite part is when the female paparazzo says she's sorry for something and Pink goes 'no you're not.' Check out the tough girl action below:

Guess he proved her wrong.

I really hope that guy isn't Carey Hart's replacement. I mean, divorce can leave us a little confused...but not THAT confused.

'Single' Ashlee and Pete Go Out with a 'Meh'

Fri, 16 May 2008 13:43:27 -0800

Ashlee Simpson kissed her unmarried life goodbye last night with a 'mellow' bachelorette party thrown by her sister. At their parent's house. That was over before midnight.

What the hell happened to that fun and easy-to-ridicule chick who once stood on a table in a fastfood joint and demanded that the employee kiss her feet?!?

To make matters even more lame, before Ashlee's daddy got home to kiss his daughter goodnight and give her one final 'back rub,' Joe Simpson forced Ashlee's fiance to hang out with him all night long.

The soon-to-be father and son had dinner with a few of Pete Wentz's friends at the Beverly Hills hotspot Mr. Chow, where they went really crazy, even going to far as to order some beer and wine.

And THAT, my friends, was Pete's Bachelor party. No strippers, Las Vegas clubbing, limo, no. Just chillin' with his future father in law.

Check out Pete heading home from the restaurant, avoiding pregnancy questions, talking about his mustache, and being friends with Calum Best for some god-awful reason. Even better: Joe Simpson laughing like he's had a few too many beers...

Victoria Beckham is Self-Deprecating, Wise

Fri, 16 May 2008 12:36:25 -0800

Captain Victoria said a whole cacapoopoo of stuff this week that I don't believe for a minute she actually meant.

The twiggie wannabe is promoting her new 'dVb jeans' line by going around London saying a bunch of mean things about herself, apparently because she figures that if it's gonna be said she might as well beat the tabloids to it.

Her top three, supplemented by yours truly:

1. She calls herself unattractive to the opposite sex. 'All the men that like me are gay. It’s true.'

You need some more bait for that fishing pole, Vicki?

While I like the implications of this - such as my boyfriend David Beckham becoming fully available - I'm gonna have to call your bluff Victoria, and ask you to cut the crap.

2. She brushes off her vain, rehearsed pouty look as accidental. 'When I see pictures I do sometimes think, 'You miserable cow.' I think it's just the way my face falls.'

Please lady. We all know this is really about your bad teeth.

3. 'If people like the way I look then great, and if they don't then fine.'

The verdict is in and I'm gonna have to call bullshit on that one too.

If there was a number four, it would entail Posh calling herself a 'bloated pig' who eats McDonald's and only spends 15 minutes getting ready every day.

Pictures of the narcissist in London (managing a half smile in the second photo) after the jump...

Russell Brand - Better Late (Show) Than Never

Fri, 16 May 2008 11:20:11 -0800

'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' star - and the coolest British import since Eddie Izzard - Russell Brand finally arrives at New York's Ed Sullivan Theater for an appearance on 'The Late Show with David Letterman' yesterday.

The British comedian was supposed to appear on the show last month but, when he arrived at JFK airport, had problems with his immigration paperwork. After waiting around for 8 hours, he was sent back across the pond in the same plane he arrived on.

I can see why they'd want to hold back someone like Amy Winehouse, but Russell Brand? He likes to sleep around, but he couldn't come close to bringing the level of disease - that's festering in Amy's beehive alone - into this country.

Don't feel too bad for Russell though, he allegedly spent his return flight wooing a Virgin Atlantic stewardess who, after landing, headed off with the actor to his North London digs, bringing whole new meaning to the term layover.

Sophie Monk is Flying High with Her 'Idol ' Guy

Fri, 16 May 2008 10:59:47 -0800

Australian model/actress Sophie Monk and a friend enjoy a Starbucks break while waiting on car repairs in Santa Monica yesterday.

The leggy blond beauty is still going strong with 'American Idol " host Ryan Seacrest. People magazine reported that the two made a grand entrance - in a helicopter - to Ellen DeGeneres' recent 50th birthday party.

The two were having a blast at the bash until they came face-to-face with Sophie's ex, Benji Madden and his girlfriend Paris Hilton. Awk-ward.

I'm sure the incident didn't faze Sophie too much. It's always empowering to see your ex with someone less attractive that you, isn't it?

PCN's Gossip Roundup

Fri, 16 May 2008 10:59:01 -0800

Beauty and the Freaks - PacificCoastNewsOnline
Mike Tyson Is a Heavyweight Yet Again - BauerGriffinOnline
Audrina Patridge Bikini Pics - SplashNewsOnline
THE GROOMSMEN GATHER FOR PRE-WEDDING "PARTY" - INF Daily
LC Greets Her Fans Before Getting Back to Season 4 Drama - PopSugar
Amy Winehouse and Her Many Pets - A Socialite's Life
Laura Vandervoort is in a bikini, blurry - Celebslam
Jude Law’s Hair Loss Woes - Gossip Girls
Jordan Topless In Cannes - Hollywoodtuna
Liv Tyler is a Stranger in NYC - Just Jared
Bai Ling says 'RAWR! I'm a tiger - but in a bikini!' - The Superficial

Selma Blair Rocks Some New Hair

Fri, 16 May 2008 10:40:04 -0800

Selma Blair, with new, long locks, presumably for her new role on the American ~~desecration~~ version of the hit Aussie comedy 'Kath and Kim,' which debuts this fall on NBC, visited a friend's house in LA on Thursday.

Selma, who is reprising her role as paranormal investigator Liz Sherman in this summer's 'Hellboy 2: The Golden Army,' which arrives in theaters on July 11.

The actress promised that audiences will see a different Liz in the sequel to the 2004 flick. The first time around, my character was stuck and sad,' Selma said at the New York Comic Con. 'I was just wanted Liz to kick some ass! We are introduced to Liz immediately as a much stronger character, she's with Hellboy, and she is more sure of her powers and using them.'

Hey, Selma, if that weave is itchy, don't scratch it! If I've learned nothing else from 'Flavor of Love' (and I haven't, except there's a lot of pathetic women who'd kiss Flavor Flav just to get on television) you gotta pat that weave to reduce the itching (thanks, Thin 1 and Thing 2!)

I kinda Hate You Audrina Patridge

Fri, 16 May 2008 10:31:02 -0800

You know that whole concept that everybody has their unique talents and we are all equally gifted in the end?

Well suddenly the moments where I was watching The Hills and asking myself what the hell Audrina Patridge had to offer the world are in the past.

Judging from these pictures of the ditzy doll on the Hawaii set of her first movie, Into the Blue 2: The Reef, it's very clear to me: Audrina's purpose on this planet is to look really, freaking hot.

The downside is of course that women (including myself) want to hate her. Until we realize that she has the intelligence of a pea, at which point we feel much better.

Check the toned, tan, skinny little ~~bitch~~ sweetheart getting stroked, rubbed, looked at while she prepares to ~~stand around and look good~~ 'act' for the cameras:

I take additional comfort in knowing those boobs cannot be real. That, or she went through a major 'growth spurt' since her little Playboy try-out...

Harrison Ford and the Kingdom of the Skeletal Girlfriend

Fri, 16 May 2008 10:20:40 -0800

All publicity and no play makes Harrison Ford a cranky man. He and his long-time girlfriend Calista Flockhart take a break from promoting his upcoming flick 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' in Cannes, and take in a meal at the Hotel Eden Roc yesterday.

The fourth film in the Indiana Jones franchise is the talk of the French film festival, where the film will be screened on Sunday, 4 days before it hits theaters in the US.

Those French waiters behind Harrison and Calista look confused. I'm sure the sight of Calista anywhere near food must still be a little strange.

Casey Aldridge Practices His Baby Cleanin' Skills on His ATV

Fri, 16 May 2008 09:59:30 -0800

Casey Aldridge, best known as the man who got Jamie Lynn Spears ~~barefoot and~~ pregnant gives us a glimpse of what Jamie Lynn has in store for her as he washes his ATV at a do-it-yourself car wash in Gloster, Mississippi yesterday.

You know once she pops that kid out, Jamie's going to be on ATV cleaning duty.

Earlier this week, the happy couple were seen entering a store called Kentwood Bricks, in Jamie Lynn's hometown. Could they be planning a 'love nest' or a special, 'sister-in-law suite' for when big sister Britney comes to help out when the baby is due in June?

Despite the fact that I don't believe we've seen him smile since the pregnancy was announced (understandably so, if you ask me) Casey is pretty cute - for a good ol' boy.

Thank God for Kung Fu Panda

Fri, 16 May 2008 08:00:53 -0800

Just when I was itching for a really good Brangelina fix... Kung Fu Panda delivers an eyeful.

Here's the majestic couple gracing the red carpet at Angie's premiere of the film in Cannes yesterday.

As if they could draw any more attention to themselves, after Angie's week of shopping in Monaco, getting outted about her twins, and just generally being considered everybody's business.

The latest Brangelina fire alarm is the due date issue. Her other Kung Fu co-star, Dustin Hoffman, admitted in his interview that her twins are due August 19th. But his alleged 'out' seems a little suspect. Rumor has it Dustin's full of shit and the baby's actually due next month.

In which case, Brange's recent relocation to France makes perfect sense. Gotta keep up the tradition of having every kid born in it's own country! Oh yeah, minus twin number two.

Pictures of Angie wearing green (to symbolize the envy every female feels when they look at her) next to her delicious hubby after the jump.

Well That Was Quick

Thu, 15 May 2008 17:39:03 -0800

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are over - again - just two months after rekindling their dysfunctional romance.

Not sure of the reason this time around, but I'm assuming it has something to do with Owen Wilson having the maturity of a 12-year old and Kate Hudson being embarrassed by him.

The hot mom was spotted wearing some bling on her ring finger last week, which got people all hot and bothered and jumping to the usual 'engagement' conclusion. Alas, the ring was just a stupid prop for her new movie...but apparently it did get the Bride Wars actress talkin.'

Word from her camp is that the blonde lovers are toast...like the really dark, black, inedible kind.

'It was a pretty bad breakup, says an insider. 'Owen said it was a tough one. He definitely doesn't want to dwell on it. He wants to put it behind him.'

Luckily Owen has all been using all the right tools to 'put it behind him,' such as getting trashed nightly, sticking his penis in as many vaginas as possible, and behaving like a general child about the whole thing.

Hopefully it will offer Kate all the reassurance she needs to stay the hell away from this guy before he plans suicide number two...